Friday, February 24, 2012

From the beginning

Have you noticed the blog has taken a nosedive in the past year? Writing lighthearted blog posts is hard when your heart is crushed after yet another pregnancy announcement or failed cycle. Although it may not have been the right choice, we did choose to keep our struggle with infertility a secret to protect our loved ones from the pain we felt.

These babies are the results of two years of fertility treatments, a ton of money and lots of praying. They were conceived through IVF in October along with their 13 other frozen embryo siblings but were not transferred until December. We're still in the it's too good to be true state and can't really fathom bringing home two babies this summer. Two years ago were excited to add another baby to our family and here we are two years later and we'll be adding two. Although the wait and not knowing how and when our family would grow has been hard, one thing we have always been sure of is that His timing is perfect. We're so thankful for the last two years with Jonah and for the opportunity to come closer together as a family when it could have been something that tore us apart.

Being in the medical field and especially me in neonatal, we're guarded and know that at any moment things can change and we could not be bringing two babies home. Early in the pregnancy I had some bleeding and there was concern about baby B's heart rate but they've both looked really good the last two ultrasounds. I wish I could be naive to all the potential complications and risks. I know I'm driving Matt crazy with my worries especially because his philosophy is it's useless to worry about something you have no control over. As we get further along I do find myself worrying less and dreaming more about what it will be like.

Jonah is very excited to be a big brother. He has been asking to go to my appointments so hopefully Matt can go to one so he can watch Jonah and they can see the babies. After I told him he would be able to feel the babies kick when they were bigger he became convinced the babies were going to knock him down. He likes to look at the ultrasound pictures. I showed him the newest ones and he was concerned that you could only see part of baby A in baby B's picture. He once told me that when I'm sleeping he pokes a hole in my belly and takes the babies out to play and sleep with him. I think it will be an adjustment for him but he'll do great. When he is around my friends' babies he is always bringing them toys and trying to give them food (must work on that one).

My official due date is August 30th but they'll be born no later than the 16th. I'm hoping for the week before so there can be a little more space between their birthday and Jonah's. I hope to find out in March what we're having. I know Matt would really like a girl and I think it would be nice to have one too but really I will be thrilled with whatever they are. I just want to know already! We have all of Jonah's clothes so we would be set for boys but if we have a girl or two then some serious shopping needs to be done. I suppose its good that we don't know because it has stopped me from buying any clothes. I did buy a pack n' play today because Jonah's was recalled and they had a great deal at Costco. We'll hold off on purchasing the cribs until June. Sorry for being so wordy. Here are some pictures I've been unable to share until now.

Me on embryo retrieval day in December. I was still oblivious to the amount of pain I would wake up in and would be in for the next two weeks. Vicodin was my friend.

The 10 lbs of fluid in my abdomen from OHSS. I had to sleep sitting completely upright so I could breath and looked about 5 months pregnant. I'm sure it caused the teachers at Jonah's preschool to talk. I love how Jonah is looking at me there.

Our beautiful babies on the day of the frozen embryo transfer in October. Even the doctor and embryologist said they were beautiful. I'm sure they were speaking from a medical standpoint but it was love at first sight for us.

It may have been excessive but after all the negatives, I just had to take more than one! From 4dp5dt up to 7dp5dt. It was a wonderful Christmas present for us and our families!

Jonah's new shirt at Christmas.

This was in the ultrasound room when I found out it was twins. I took a picture and sent it to Matt to tell him.

Our two little ones at 8 weeks. That was the last time we could get all of them in one shot. Now they're too big!


Joan said...

I love you Kim! Thank you for sharing this. I wish I was there to hug you.

Megan said...

I'm so proud of you and Matt. You have both been so strong and inspirational :) I'm so happy for you guys and love you so much. You have brought me SO much joy from Jonah and being an aunt... I can't wait to share in the adventures with these two!! Big brother Jonah is going to do great :)